Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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