I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
