Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
