The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
try to milk me bitch
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
