just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
