she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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