Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
