can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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