Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
