i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
