Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
