know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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