Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
