no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
