So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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