i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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