my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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