my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
