i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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