I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
