my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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