bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
