ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
