it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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