Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
