i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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