idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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