I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
