I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
