Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
