If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
