i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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