This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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