Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
