I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
