Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
