Umm I'm too high to move.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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