Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
