The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
