I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
