dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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