@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize