I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
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