There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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