I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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