I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
