I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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