so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
