your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
