Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
