when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
