I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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