Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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