So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
