the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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