yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
