The maid of honor just puked.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
