i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
