i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
