i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
your like the ambassador to my penis.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
