i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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