btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
